I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
