You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
