Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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