Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Dear god my vagina.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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