I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
