oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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