I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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