some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
no. you can't hotbox the world.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
