if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
