i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
