OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
We named our party play list daddy issues
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
