The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I'm having to shit out rocks
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