why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
