I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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