ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
