i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
