I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
