tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
