is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Randomize
