We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
