So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
