I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize