Me. At least after what I've been through.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
