Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize