Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize