btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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