We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
