We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
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