Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
