I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Girls should come with a carfax report
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
