If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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