Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
