wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Randomize
