I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
