the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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