You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize