All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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