U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
