Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
