i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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