we're blogging at a bar
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
false alarm. still invincible.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
