I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize