what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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