I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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