Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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