What did we do last night that was yellow?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
