used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
