Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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