this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
