dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
