Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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