____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I'm jealous of your bromance
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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