Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
