He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
