Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
