And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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