I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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