dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
