he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Is her dick bigger than yours?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize
