we're blogging at a bar
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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