So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
