Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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