I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
