she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Fuck appropriateness.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
