i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
