i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Dicks are not precious.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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